Antimatter

Matter… energy. Atoms colliding with each other in an eternal and infinite journey to nowhere. Is that a purposeful design or a mastermind move from an architect with too much insight into the engineering of the soul? Thinking about it only makes it worse. Experiencing it makes it intoxicating, addicting, resulting to more fascination and obsession. Damned if you will, damned if you don’t. Who ever said that intelligence, cognitive, emotional or any other type for that matter, is a good thing then I claim that they didn’t know what they were talking about. Movement. The only constant for some. The stuff of nightmares for others. Where did I go wrong? Where did I miss the trick and so many beats as a result of that? Stillness. So tantalising and yet so torturous that is in fact a great achievement to master it. I yearn for the simplicity and duality of the yin and the yang, the purity in the fallacy. Look around you… movement has turned from a blessing to a curse. Stillness a status so hard to attain. A confused and altered way of seeing things, a state of conflict that hides behind peace… Boundaries… Set for one and one reason only, to provoke crossing. Rules. To entice breaking. The law of relativity has won. The tool became better than the fool. So much so that tool controls the fool and the fool proclaims that the tool is the salve. Confused. Sanctuary? Safety? Security? What are these, where are they, who can provide them? Do you know why you want these things? Do you even know what you want? Looking for coherency… Well… it’s all around us. Palpable. It’s just not my size… whose fault is that? Why do I care, and above all when did it happen? What happened to me? But more important… how do I cope going forward? Even with time travel, we still won’t know the way to unlearn something…. Salvation. If there is such a thing… Perhaps praying to an unforgiving and cruel deity will yield results. Perhaps for you, alas for me there are none