Exploring dark corners of a twisted mind.

Usually I don’t even bother to engage others in my decisions…
But today it is an exceptional day…
I feel enthralled in the idea of serving others…
And since this is a rare phenomenon, I must make sure that everyone involved can mike the most of it.

I reached over… the alarm went on, relentlessly. She made a muffled sound while she grabbed hold of me…

- Don’t go…

I looked at her. She had me, and she knew it. The only comfort for me was that she did not take advantage of it …yet…
I reached for the mobile phone, silenced the alarm, turned the mobile phone off and cuddled with her…

- Don’t go... Quit your job; spend all your mornings with me…

All mornings had the same dialogue. It was always difficult to make it out of bed. Leaving her was excruciating!

- I will!
- When? You always say that to me…

I never said anything like that before, and we both knew it. But it was her little game, and I let her get away with it.

- Today…

She turned around, looked at me with sleepy eyes and browsing brains… She knew… She knew her game and she knew me… It took her a fraction of a second to come to full awareness…

- You are not joking!
- No… today your wish is my command. Just make sure you don’t wish for things you don’t really want…
- I don’t know if I should be thrilled or scared, you know…
- I know… I am exposed here…
- Well, let’s see what I can get out of this…

We were miles apart… each lost in their own sphere, thinking only of what we had just gotten ourselves into. Neither of us would bulge and admit that it was foolish and we were too stubborn to just play along until we decide otherwise… We had sex, filled with pain and lust, but no emotions… This could very well be the beginning of the end and we both knew it…

Later, when our senses were satisfied, she decided to open up… For the first time with no inhibitions, almost war like and harsh…

- Ok, I made up my mind. I know what I want from you…
- Ok…
- Ok? Just like that? You do not care?
- I do, and I am scared shit of what your twisted mind will ask me to do, but I know that I will do it, and you know that you are going to ask for it, so why lie?
- I don’t want you to quit your job. I want you to go somewhere with me.
- Now I am even more frightened. And no so much intrigued as worried. But I am listening.
- I want you to come with me to a swing party. And I want you to look only. I don’t want you to participate… I want you to look at me while I am exploring and collecting experiences.
- Low… very low. I will do it… but it is low…
- I know, but I figured that there would be no other opportunity…
- And you are sure that you just want me to look, not do anything?

If she was thinking, she would have said no… She would have processed that better… But she was excited, she was in heat… I could feel it, I could smell it… But I would, I could not bring myself to tell her that she was about to make the worse mistake in her life…

- Yes. I have thought this through all day today… This is what I want; I have already made arrangements.
- Ok baby… Know this. I loved you and I still do, but this will change us… It will change me; it will change you.
- I know,,, I only hope that it will do so for better and not for worse…


Night over London doesn’t necessarily mean late… Night in London during winter is 19:00. The party was live when we got there at 21:00. A proper swing party, one that means business; no hint of a wild orgy, no indication of the congregation and copulation that took place past the doors… Yet it was there… I shivered as we neared the door… I was scared… I could taste the fear and the pain in my mouth. I resented the fact that I would force myself to live this; I hated myself for the fact that she was going to fuck her brains out with other men.

She looked happy and excited… The two emotions being on the two opposites… She knocked on the door. A portcullis opened and she slipped the invitation through. The door opened and a well dressed figure welcomed us, nodding us to enter. I hovered on my step, struggling with the idea of walking to my own demise… She gingerly walked in, and eventually I followed. The figure was in fact a gorgeous middle aged woman. She gestured directions and when we tried to ask something, she gestured silence… Better that way I thought. Isolation and meditation, along the southing voice of my mind might help me through this. She had a spark in her eyes and I captured it for a brief moment. It sent fire in my loins, making me feel even more uneasy. I remembered my promise, my commitment to her…

She was tall, raid hair falling just below her shoulders in waves, an unnatural shine covering them… Her bright green eyes had me enchanted far before she revealed her body. She did not gesture this time; she approached us naked, a true red-head, and started taking our clothes off. I tried to meet her eyes, but a sharp pain in my right arm made me look the other way. She hadn’t forgotten my promise to her… She was going to enjoy and I was going to suffer. Not only because she would be fucking with others, not because I had to look at her while she was doing it, but because I would not be able to do and enjoy anything… And not only that! I had to fend any invitation in the process…

We stood there, naked, exposed… battling our inhibitions and our concerns… The red-head guided us towards a huge double door, decorated with weird and incomprehensive designs… I looked at it mesmerised, paying little attention to anything else… When the door opened, a human canvas of a pornographic painting in works was revealed… Colours, sizes, flavours, aromas, combinations… everything was work in progress… I felt her hand sweating and her grip tightening. I could feel her heart-beat and I knew her fear; it made no difference, she would not go back. I stood there…

The red-headed lady left us and provocatively walked in the first group of people ahead of us. A skinny, pale girl was being manhandled by three fat men; the red-headed lady just attacked one of them, scratching his back and biting his left ass-cheek… He violently slapped her, which through her down on her knees, with a drop of blood dripping down her lips. Her eyes screamed defiance and her body was a taunt to anyone daring enough to approach… I could barely restrain myself, and I knew that I was getting a hard on… O had to fight that, but the sight was mesmerising… The fat guy grabbed her hair violently, forced her after a struggle to turn around on all fours and stretch her ass in the air… He grabbed his cock and started stroking it… I was relieved, he wasn’t a freak of nature; somehow that was important in my head! I soon regretted my words, because his cock grew larger and larger… The red-head managed to get loose from his grip, turned around and stared frozen for a second the massive cock… I thought of the skinny girl, and how she managed, and I even looked around for her briefly… But I couldn’t locate her, so I went on to see what would be the end of the red-head. She tried to leave the fat guy, while he kept on stocking himself… she failed… the fat guy grabbed her from the left ankle, pulled her near him… She tried to crawl away, falling on her belly in her attempt, revealing two perfectly shaped but cheeks… I wanted to rape her, there and then… So did the fat man…her checks trembled, a light, soft tremble. The fat man grabbed her hair, pulled her head back forcing her to arch, placed his fully – I hoped! – erect cock on her asshole and then in an instant that felt like eternity let all his weight fall on that point… The red-head stretched, her fingers dug in the carpet she was lying on and then a tear dropped from her eye; she turned around, stared at me what could only be an invitation and then grabbed the ass checks of the fat man, carving red lines of pleasure and lust…

I was enchanted… And at that moment I was discussed; I realised that my hand was empty. I scanned the room in a vain attempt to find her… I wanted to scream, call her to me, take her away, leave… But instead I studied the room… A huge hall with a central staircase leading to an upper floor from either side; I looked up, but there were no visible marks, just tinted glass and mirrors. The party was all in the hall… Red carpets, thick and rich covered the floor with yellow, brown and orange tribal patterns embroidered in the centre. All furniture was made from ebony, and they looked as if they were all shaped based on human body shapes and angles. I realised that this room was not a random place; my mind switched from concern and worry to questions and coincidences, I became more perceptive of my surrounding environment and more open to my senses and intuition… Something felt out of place…

I had to find her, but I could not go any step further before I knew what was bothering me. I noticed that some had a magnetic effect on me and others were just shadows, indifferent and uninteresting to my eyes… I need to know if they were real… The atmosphere was getting heavy. Something was out of place, but I was too uptight to place it…

Besides, I needed to find fer…