Truth?

Truth hurts…
It is unwelcome… It does not allow us to act as we want, as we are unable to limit truth to its benefits only… we have to accept the negatives as well… And that will result in us looking at our fears, at our drawbacks, at our mistakes and at our wrong doings… Above all, it will make us face them, whether we like it or not…

I can go on and on and on… But I don’t want to… Instead, I want to be free… Of any remorse, of any concern… I want to be fair and honest… But it turns out that if and when I am, I still do it on my own personal basis, and that results in others being unhappy… I can live with that. Hell, I am expected to respect and abide to their whims and their desires, and I try to do so, to the best of my ability. But I am unfair and unreasonable to expect understanding and sympathy… to expect equal treatment…

So be it… I grew up knowing that I will understand few people in my lifetime, and even less will understand me… I know that none will ever accept me as I am, and yet I still chose to be that way… Therefore I am selfish and arrogant…

So be it… I am... I am also stubborn, know-it-all, loud, hairy and all sorts of other nasty things… I know that, and I do not (or try not to…) get upset when someone points at me and says that I am… It is too much to expect that from others… And as I grow older and unfortunately not wiser, I realise that… I will learn at some point not to do it… I have to…

In the mean time, I will crawl to my little dark corner and hide, licking my wounds and cherishing the fact that I can still enter and leave a fight… without biting innocents… I will cherish the fact that I can now control myself to do that, and I will mourn and howl to the moon as loud and as long as I can for my loss… my loss of hope, my loss of salvation, my confirmation of solitude…

As said in the past… my choice, my burden, my problem… my words…