Respect or Fear

Confusion...

Is there a line that you cross and you just cannot stop questioning things and decisions? Is there a line that you cross and from then on you can never take a decision because it has a "wrong" color to it?

And where is that line, and who the fuck put it there?

I am struggling... Struggling to detain myself, struggling to keep on acting sensibly and cooperative... Safe...

Well, I am putting a great show apparently... In fact, so good, that I am beginning to doubt myself. But the show must not go on, at least not under this tune...

I am not a safe, controllable person... I am not sensible, and I am not peaceful...

I am being pushed to my limits... And I am scared... I am scared of my reaction... To long have I stayed inactive, too long have I played it safe and proper...

Too long...

And when things are inactive for too long, then there are too many things piling up, and all go out in one, little, sweet instance...

And I am afraid of that instance... I am afraid for the poor soul that will be the recipient of all this...

But I need to get it out... It is spilling over the edge as it is now, making things unpleasant... For everybody else, except me...

As always, my moto is with me, it is me...

you shall either respect me or fear me