Sorrow

I mourn for my loss... I could do nothing more to save you, nor did I have the courage to tell you what I should have when I could, because I wanted to believe that it wouldn't get to that, but I was wrong, so wrong... To make amends, even if that means nothing other than an ultimate expression of self pity, I write this, holding all the things that I loved about you and will never find anywhere else. The pain is almost unbearable, but tears took away some of the burden, so I will endure, scared...

You where there, a free spirit for those who knew and understood, intelligent and cunning - idiot and retarded for those that wanted puppets, and the only one that I knew I could turn to if I needed... The only one that would wait for me, and miss me... My love for you was equal to yours for me, so is my dedication... There was never a need for long talks, for a gaze could say everything a thousand words could not... I cannot go further down the road you and I carved... It will never be the same...

I am sorry for all those things I didn't offer you, and for all the promises I didn't keep, and above all for never allowing you to live your own life exactly as you would...

I have failed you, and for that I will never forgive myself, and that is the only punishment I can think suitable for me... I hope that wherever you are you can howl as much as you want, be free and feel no pain...

I will never forget you...
I miss you...