Time and time again...

(Written in August 1999, during a lucid moment of sanity, before one of the most violent moments in my life so far that changed perceptions and repositioned several bones, feelings and opinions in a rather violent way… proposed soundtrack Pantera – Drag the Waters)

Things are repeating, in an endless loop…

Delusions…disillusions…
An endless vicious circle, than hurts the most when you fall under the fallacy of thinking and eventually believing that you escaped it…

Fear… it grasps your very soul, sucking your energy, your hopes your dreams. But you never know it is there before it is too late.

You keep things hidden for a reason, but that reason is always wrong when expressed and confronted and no matter the intention or the goal, it hurts like grasping a two edged sword… and when it is violently jerked free of your grasp, you look at the gushing cuts and the spurting blood in awe, never before realizing that pain can be so liberating…

As you leave your fading moment of connection to the living, you remember only the good things… this is why pain and death are liberating… Because like it or not, it makes you remember and think of the good things you experienced…

And here I come, demonizing your good times, your pleasant memories, your loving thoughts….

A harbinger of misery and truth, of pain and freedom… a harbinger that you though you wanted to see all your life and at the crucial moment of confrontation you are tormented from the realization and acceptance of reality….

You will suffer…. You will hurt… You will remember…. And you will cry…

All in the hope of redemption…
All in the hope of exaltation…
All in vain…

I am coming… I am furious… I am angry… I am violent… I am fair… I will hurt you only as much as you deserve, and I will receive only what you are right and deserve to dish out… I have only one message for you…

Leave… or suffer and learn. Either way… I am coming.